Raise your hand if you were shocked to hear that Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries are divorcing.  (didn't think so)  The marriage lasted 72 days, pretty long according to some Hollywood standards.  I haven't really been fascinated by her, as some have, but have followed Kris' career since he was a MN Gopher.  Great Midwestern guy. Minnesota nice. Good values and everything.  He's one of "us."
I guess he found out by hearing about it on a news report.  OUCH!  She said it was because of irreconcilable differences.  They had their differences, plenty of money, fame, looks and a couple of other things, but, I guess, not much of a LOVE QUOTIENT.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith, recipient of the top therapist award three times from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, says the key to healthy, affectionate, loving relationships can be wrapped up in one word: TENDERNESS.  Doubt if Kim and Kris know him.  Here's a summation of his "tips for tenderness:"
  Communicate from the heart, with no thought of winning or taking control
. Notice how people are feeling before you talk to them.  Too many people jump into their own mini-dramas
    too fast.
  Be gentle with those we care about.  Honesty is not always the best policy.  Someone may not be ready to
    hear it at times.
  Communicate with affirmation rather than condemnation.  Being critical rarely gets us anywhere.
  If we've hurt someone, and we know it, ask for forgiveness, but be patient.  It may take a while to heal
   wounds.
  Be sympathetic.
  Be empathetic.
  Never be mean.  Never.
Paul puts it this way in Ephesians:  "Let no evil come out of your mouth.  Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander be put away from you.  And be kind to one another ... TENDERHEARTED ... and forgiving one another, as Christ forgave you."
Goldsmith goes on to say that his tips work for all types of groups, including churches, and extended family gatherings.  I'm going "up north" to see the relatives for Christmas.  I'll try to be on my best behavior.